This weekend I'm staying with my "big brother," Brett, dear friend, Becca, and my "psuedo-niece," Juliana. Since Brett and Becca had a leadership training session to attend at church, Cricket and I have spent the evening babysitting Juliana. This involved lots of Cricket's slimy squeaky toy, making pancakes in her play kitchen, and dancing along with the Teletubbies (oh yes).
When it was time to be tucked in for bed tonight Juliana said her prayers, most of which I couldn't quite understand (although I did catch, "and for Cricket to be healthy" which made me giggle a little because it is perfectly logical for a three-year-old. I mean, everyone else around here seems to be coming down with this or that bug, and Cricket is her self-proclaimed "bes fwend," so it follows she would be concerned for her health), and asked me to sing Tender Shepherd. I barely know this song, but I've picked up enough from previous visits to be able to follow along with her. Next she asked me to snuggle. I mean, who can resist "Anna, wiwl you snuggle with me?" I'm quite the snuggler anyways.
We're snuggling away and as I play with her long, baby fine hair and stroke her little hands I couldn't help but think back to the day she was born. I remember holding her and just thinking God must have something so big in mind for her. Every baby is a miracle, but Juliana's birth was particularly special. She was welcomed to the world by emergency c-section a mere six minutes after a placental abruption (basically, the placenta is detached and the baby is no longer receiving oxygen from the mother's blood stream). Even a minute later and she could have suffered severe brain damage, a couple minutes and she would have died. In fact, every last detail about the entire situation was so clearly ordered by God that we were all in awe of His grace that day.
All of this is going through my mind when I hear a sweet little whisper, "I love you Anna. Can we sing Oh How I Love Jesus?"
A month ago today Juliana accepted Jesus as her Savior. I know not everyone thinks this is possible for a three-year-old, but I was only four and I absolutely know how real and true it was for me. So after hearing the whole story my soul was dizzy with joy. As precious as the miracle of her birth was, the miracle of her second birth is more wonderful still.
I lay there beside her with tears in my eyes, the two of us singing: There is a name I love to hear, I love to sing it's worth. It sounds like music in my ear, the sweetest name on earth. Oh, how I love Jesus! Oh, how I love Jesus! Oh, how I love Jesus! Because He first loved me" over and over. Each time I sang the words it felt like the warmth of the sun pouring over my heart.
He first loved me! There is no chasing with God. No wondering. No ifs, ands, buts or maybes. There is only absolute, endless, unconditional love. It is simple. It is passionate. It is sweet. It is eternal. Even little Juliana can understand and accept this without reservation. That moment was so innocent and pure. Those words were so wonderful and true. I don't know that I've ever had a more beautiful, precious moment of worship than I had tonight.
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