There is one thing I have come to deeply value over the past few months: the men who aren't afraid to kick life in the face for me. I have brothers and friends who have fought for me in prayer over some of the most heartbreaking months of my life this past semester. Some of you have made a point to call and check up on me. Some of you have emphatically stressed that you want to be there to fight on my side. Some of you have offered to give a beat down on my behalf. And some of you have given incredible spiritual advice and encouragement. I think I would have given way to the terrible feeling of being in this battle alone if not for you.
Seminary is full of people looking to get married. And honestly, who can blame them? For those of us with very firm and specific belief systems it can seem a daunting task to find someone compatible to share life with in an increasingly pluralistic and globalized society. Why not move your hunt from singles groups or eharmony to a place where you have this in common?
I made peace with my singleness a long time ago. First out of necessity, but then because I realized: life happens in the waiting. We are always becoming someone. Who we live our life for defines and shapes us. If all (or most) of life revolves around a search for someone to marry we are defined by our expectations of that person long before we ever meet him or her. Is this who we want to become? People who think only of a checklist or of trying to gain the attention of others?
Here is my point. My brothers, you may not have a wife or girlfriend, but plenty of your single sisters (who you will never marry) need you to offer your strength. We are not weak or inferior, but we are NOT the same as you, and we do need you in our lives. Ladies, we have a way of approaching the world that our guy friends could use access to as well. We've unfairly demanded too much and too little of them at the same time. It is time for us to allow them to be who we need them to be and stop getting so offended or threatened when they step up.
So there you go. My long overdue thanks, and long unspoken thoughts. Love.
Anna G.
