Come. Taste. See.

To stand on the precipice of my own wretchedness and see what fate lay before me had not I been snatched from the edge affects a more profound realization of grace than I can withstand.

There are times when doubt overtakes me and leaves me wallowing in a mire of despair from which I cannot pull myself free. Here my view of my own sin is overwhelming. It hangs on me like a heavy black cloak, a death shroud, and frantically I search for its hem that I might free myself from its suffocating weight. I grieve for the wrongs that I have done, that I seem unable to avoid doing. Perfection beckons, and I would attain it, but my feet are like stones and my will so deeply rooted in my flesh that the cause seems hopeless.

Then you in your radiance and perfection pass by and I cannot bear to be so near your holiness. How much darker my sins seem in your presence! How much more desperately I long to have them removed from me, that I should desire them no more and pursue only righteousness! Like Isaiah I hear my own voice drawn from my chest, "I am a man of unclean lips!"

I would run and hide from you, as Adam and Eve in the garden, for I cannot bear your face upon my sin. But you bid me come and linger. "Come, be cleansed, have the bloodguilt washed from your hands and see through new eyes, think through a renewed mind, feel through a restored heart. Taste and see," you say to me, "For I make all things new. Enter into my courts where one day is infinitely more sweet than lifetimes elsewhere."

What is this grace that does not cast us aside when we falter and stray? Rather than abandon it pursues, knowing that we in our poverty could never attain the rescue of our own souls, nor perfect them when in the light of that glorious rescue we stand. From our lips pour forth praise and our feet will not be stilled from dancing in your throne room. You are our Redeemer! And we cannot help but proclaim your freedom to the nations for you, our God, have shown yourself to be the Hope of all mankind!

compelled.

Sometimes placing one foot in front of the other day in and day out is the most fearless way to live. We do not achieve lives of greatness by seeking out adventure, by catapulting ourselves headlong into risk, cost uncounted. There is nothing wrong with risk. It is, in fact, required of us if we would live for the cause of Christ. There is nothing bad about adventure. On the contrary, if we live as we were designed to we will find ourselves immersed in an adventure of epic proportions. But we do not live for these things. Nor do we live for greatness, accomplishment or personal fulfillment. We live for Christ and in Christ and through Christ and because of Christ.

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all and therefore all died. And he died for all that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again. (2 cor. 5:14-15)

I do not lie awake at night dreaming dreams for myself. I lie awake because my heart is heavy with the burden of mourning and the weight of joy. Because I see around me death yet I feel within me life and daily I desire more to find a way to bridge this disconnect.

So, one foot in front of the other. Slow and steady, pressing forward. One brick upon another to build a life of character and integrity. Piece by piece stripping away the trappings of success and expectation to learn the heart of servanthood, the humility of surrender. It is here in seeking God's face, in straining our ear to hear his voice, in inclining our lives toward Him that we find all our desires fulfilled in the most unlikely way.

For I have counted the cost and have determined that though the cost be greater than I can pay, it is worth more than I can give. I would rather "waste" the sum of my days on the name of Jesus than indulge them on the pleasures of this life.

I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation. We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance, in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger, in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything. (2 cor. 6:2b-10)