crazy little thing called love/life.

It's like being exquisitely, painfully, passionately, exhiliratingly in love. The kind of love that makes your cheeks glow like they've been out in the crisp air of early winter and your eyes sparkle like moonlight on the ocean waves. Laughter bubbles up because it can't be contained, songs burst forth because there is so much to sing about and tears fall freely because they are unafraid. That is how I feel about my life.

Many genuinely difficult things are present in my life, so many challenges for which I am certain to be inadequate, and so many things that could make me want to quit. But there has never been such a wealth of life before me either. On one hand life is like being deep in the trenches of battle, but on the other I fight with the absolute knowledge that the outcome of the war swings in my favor. Difficulty becomes easy.

There is nothing about my life that I would change, and yet nothing that I am afraid to let go of. Do not mistake this for flippancy, or a false sense of detachment. I know well the measure of sacrifice already asked. I cannot pretend to know the breadth to which this will extend. But this depth of joy flows from learning to surrender. Though I may resist at first, by His grace the letting go will continue.

I have never been so at rest in who I am. Certainly it has taken me a while to see carved out before me an identity which I can begin to understand as my own. And I have no doubt that this will continue to be forged and refined. But I know myself in ways I could not have without taking the journey so far. More importantly, I know more deeply the God who created me. All that I am is at His mercy. For me there is no surviving apart from Him.

An abundance of amazing people overflow in my life. People who know how to embrace life and invite others to do the same. People who love others deeply and selflessly not because they are perfect, but because they too are being transformed by the unconquerable love of God. And people who are unafraid of raw, honest failure, vulnerability or transparency because they know that life is sometimes leaping, sometimes walking, sometimes crawling and a whole, whole lot of falling.

The possibilities of what can be are breathtaking. It's driving down a road you've never explored before. It's holding a new baby for the first time. I have no time to cling to what has been, no energy to waste on regrets, only the power to look what is right now in the eye and embrace it for all that it is. I love every second, and yet I still can't wait for this Earth part to be over so the real fun can begin on the other side!