The Measure of Grace

I am astounded at the measure of my own selfishness.

It's so easy to buy into the social ideas of getting ahead, and I'm tired of being surrounded by people who base their decisions on what will benefit them the most personally. Quite frankly, that is no longer the kind of person I want to be.

What if we are measured not by our ability to self-preserve, but our ability to self-destruct for the good of others? What I mean is, what if it's not about me at all?

Any "good" Christian (what does that mean anyway?) knows the greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind." And of course the second greatest commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself." But I wonder how many of us have missed the significance of the sentence that follows this famous passage: "Do this and you will live." (luke 10:27-28 NIV)

So you mean to tell me that I am only living when I'm living for God and others, not myself?

Now there's a development in the Christian community that is all about learning to love yourself, because we can't love our neighbor as ourselves until we learn to love ourselves. On on hand, there is some legitimacy to this concept, but on the other, we're still screwing up the focus. I would venture to say that even those who exhibit the extreme tendencies of both self-indulgence and self-destruction are doing so out of self-love, however twisted their vision of it may be.

Maybe what we need to do, what I need to do, is not to learn to "love" myself, but to learn to see myself the way God sees me. Which, of course, involves more about learning the heart and character of God than it does of learning anything about me. The discoveries we make of ourselves should be residual effects to our pursuit of the knowledge of God. Then and only then can we see ourselves through His perspective.

So what does He see when he looks my direction? Hebrews 10:10 tells us "we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all" So the answer is, He sees us through Christ (because it's ALL about Him). He sees grace, and he loves us through grace.

Now if occurs to me that if living is not about me, then I will only find satisfaction in my life if I'm serving God and others. This is not about a quest to find myself and where I fit in this world.

I think it means starting out small, granting grace to the driver who cuts me off, or the friend who hurts me, not saying what I feel because it will do more harm than good, and doing something I don't enjoy because it brings joy to someone else. I think it means praying about people instead of talking about them, and proactively reaching out to them instead of intentionally avoiding them.

Maybe it's not taking advantage of God's grace for me by doing what I want to, maybe it's pushing the limits of that grace for the benefit of those I encounter.